Most couples don’t stop loving each other. They just get busy — and lose focus on what matters most. Marriages rarely drift because of one dramatic moment. More often, they drift through overpacked calendars, exhausted evenings, and conversations reduced to logistics. Drifting doesn’t lead to a great marriage. What if one intentional rhythm each week could strengthen what God designed to flourish? A weekly date night isn’t about extravagance— it’s about protecting connection and stewarding the one-flesh union God entrusted to you.
Prioritizing a weekly date night has very little to do with what you do and has more to do with what you are communicating to one another– ”You matter,” “We matter,” and “This covenant is worth protecting.” There are endless reasons couples give for not maintaining a weekly date night. “We don’t have time.” “It’s too expensive.” “We can’t afford a babysitter.” “We should do something with the kids instead.” Regardless of the reason or excuse, we need to make meaningful time with our spouses a top priority.
For years, Karla and I have consistently had a weekly date night, and it has had a profoundly positive impact on us. It’s one of the most important things we do to maintain a healthy and thriving marriage. Our pace of life can be so fast and hectic at times that this weekly rhythm creates time and space for us to slow down and meaningfully connect. Not to mention, it’s often our most fun night of the week, filled with laughter and enjoyment!
Ultimately, date night is about valuing one another. It communicates priority and creates time and space for undivided and undistracted attention. A thriving and healthy marriage is not maintained on random (even if amazing experiences) but on intentionality and regular attention. A weekly date night is a great opportunity to engage in HOT Communication, which we wrote about in our most recent marriage conversations. You can find that post here. Date night creates space for deep connection, margin for curiosity, and safety for honesty, openness, and transparency. It’s also a great time to ask one another questions like, “How am I doing as a husband/wife, and “Am I serving you well?” These types of questions are almost always more productive when we can ask them in times of non-conflict, and date night gives us this opportunity.
We want to reinforce the idea that date nights are not about extravagance but about maintaining healthy, regular rhythms. Date nights are our time to connect, have fun, communicate more deeply, and grow together. Here’s a list of a few things that date nights are and are not.
Date Night doesn’t require:
Date Night can be:
We can probably all agree that we prioritize time for what we value. We can probably also agree that most of our schedules are a little overcooked. We schedule work meetings, kids’ activities, appointments, and even time for personal hobbies. We say “yes” to things we don’t even want to do, further decreasing our margins. Unfortunately, our marriages are relegated to whatever time is left over, and the leftovers are few and far between. What time is left over is often exhausted and unmotivated. There is a better way.
There’s one simple way to prioritize time together. Protect date night as a regular commitment. We may not be able to experience fine dining every week, but we can certainly commit to an hour or two of deep connection and fun together as a couple. Put it on the calendar. We prioritize what matters, and our marriages are our most important relationships. Go ahead, hit that repeat every week button. In other words, make it a weekly rhythm.
Here’s a simple framework you can try on your next date night. This can be done whether you're sharing a meal, taking a walk, or just sitting on the back porch.
A weekly date night won’t make your marriage bulletproof, and it won’t fix every struggle overnight. But it will help you chart a course rather than drift. It creates space to deepen connection, build intimacy, laugh together, and guard the covenant you’ve made before God. Strong marriages — the kind God designed for you — are not built in grand moments, but in small, faithful rhythms practiced over time. Faithful rhythms don’t just maintain a marriage — they help it flourish.
